It's On Like a Chicken Bone!

The problem with having too much time on your hands is that you eventually have so much time that you start entertaining those way-too-crazy ideas. After reconsidering the costs of installing a fireman pole from the third story down to the garage I had to consider a project that would actually fit within my budget constraints. So an idea that I had last year (likely the child of a rumor I had heard) came to mind mostly due to the fact that I recently found part-time employment at the local brewery. So starting today, I'm following through on one of my craziest, self-endangering ideas to date. I'm starting The Liquid Diet. No, not the one where you drink health shakes as that topic has no place on a beer-related blog. Do you see where this is going yet?

Yes, it's The Liquid Diet. The one that you've dreamed of since you...well, never. The diet that starts and ends with beer and goes until one of the following criteria are met:

1. A verifiable gain/loss of weight is recorded.
2. I crave solid food so much that I'd actually win in a fight with a fat lady at the buffet.
3. I cough up my liver.
   
4. My sphincter blows out thanks to the lack of its usual semi-solid shock absorbers. There is a reason they're tapered at both ends.
   

Hopefully, condition #1 will be met first and I won't have to resort to numbers 3 & 4.

But I want to be somewhat intelligent and balanced about doing an all beer diet, if there is such a statement. For example, my first meal today is starting with a fruit beer. Fruit is a generally accepted breakfast food, right? So I'm starting with a Raspberry Tart from the New Glarus Brewing Co. that I visited last summer. And the other smart step I've decided is requiring an equal amount of water to be consumed after each beer. This should help to curb the diuretic effect of alcohol along with hopefully minimizing the negative effects on my liver, not that I'm a doctor or anything.

Not a lot to write about just yet as this only started about 15 minutes ago. So I wrap up this entry with a list of questions that our loyal readers and contributors may be able to help with:

• Anybody know where I can find info on where this may have been done before?
• Anybody know of a good site where one can find comprehensive nutritional info for beers?
• Know of any relevant scientific studies regarding the nutritous benefits/detriments of beer?
  
• Do you want to contribute a meal plan for one of my dieting days? Keep in mind that the beers have to be locally available and my ZIP code is 30060. The selection ain't great, but it's better than it was a few years ago before Georgia lawmakers repealed the 6.0% content law.
  

Cross-posted over at SudsPundit.